From JupiterzAgony1 : I have watched one no contact compilation and another shorter no contact but will definitely look at some more. I also some others that speak about how to interact if you must. It’s currently easier said than done, more so than before. I have no kids with mine which is something I thankfully don’t have to deal with. I will be trying a lot of mental repetitions of what she says in the other video to sort of program myself for when he forces himself in my life again. I also watch her self-love Sunday videos (the part of dressing up putting on makeup was pretty much one which left me perplexed/somewhat depressed as I realized I have no clue now what would feel nice and pretty and the fact that now every time a male stranger has any flirtatious advances I freak out and start walking in their opposite direction). I watch all her daily videos (mostly when streaming live on here) to hear how people deal with a narc ex and any info on moving onward from situations that sound/are definitely way worse than mine. Also, what helped them best and if it resonates with me as something else to incorporate. I did fix my hair and painted my nails lol those were easier, i am trying several things, the difficulty is when he’s insistent on keeping himself in my life and that’s when I take steps back personally yet again. No, I’m never getting back together with him, there is no way that’s where my anger kicks in more rather than just sadness. It’s like every time he shows himself multiple times everything comes surging back all at once as if still fresh. It’s been now over a month since I started No Contact, so no I don’t expect to be fully and miraculously ready to go on with life as if nothing happened, but I do wish to be moving forward just a little faster. That’s also why Angie has become one of my routines and her self-love compilations are also my favorites to watch. I’m straying away little by little from what makes the narcissist, just in case there’s any doubts that start coming back the textbook behaviors, and slowly going more into ways to move forward from people that have been in this situation. I even read old messages of mine and I was a completely different person, in a way I need hope that the person I started becoming during the relationship and even recently isn’t the person I remain stuck as, and that’s what I get from some of her videos and the people that are continuing on with their lives. I will continue looking through to find all her no contact ones. Thank you again for your reply.
Reply from MaltaMcMurchy: Something that Angie has taught me, particularly when it comes to goal setting is that the step size of the task can be broken down into amounts that are more manageable, realistic and achievable. You deserve nothing less than to set yourself up for success.
You see yourself wearing makeup and it’s an indicator that you’re moving in the right direction with your recovery. You’re developing a sense of that person that you’re meant to be and that is very important in taking back your life. I have watched many YouTube tutorials on makeup and speaking from personal knowledge I can tell you that there are a ton of videos on makeup from beginner to advanced. You’ve covered the basics and I think that’s an amazing start.
By this, you’ve demonstrated that you have a goal of being the person that you want to be. So, how can we make this happen. We need to develop a plan. If you don’t have a complete picture of how you want to look in your mind, then look at pictures and see what resonates with you. The next step is to educate yourself. Identify what that cosmetic is called, where to purchase it, how much it costs, where it is applied, how to apply it and determine (if applicable) its complimentary role. If it is a cosmetic that requires blending you might find yourself spending some extra time learning about it and don’t be afraid to practice in front of a mirror. You can break this process down into baby steps for each cosmetic, choosing any step size that you want to achieve your goal.
There are a lot of factors that determine which make-up you will use. You’re going to become mindful of skin types with different moisture and elasticity, sebaceous glands, hair follicles. Go to Google, search up makeup 101 (example) or go to YouTube and search for similar terms. If you love the science behind it like I do, then you might even find it interesting to discover why certain make-ups were developed and their complimentary role in making us attractive as human beings. I am not great with names and unfortunately I can’t recall seeing your name in the chats. If you have not already done so, then I would encourage you to grab a cup of coffee, water, juice of soft drink of choice and join us in our live chat sessions!In speaking to your thoughts on being a seemingly a different person, this is known as ‘reactive abuse’ and what you’re seeing is someone who is desperately trying to keep afloat in a pool of negative emotions that is projected upon you by the narcissist. Be assured that this isn’t an accurate representation of yourself under normal conditions and you’re not going to remain this way. This is why it is so important to maintain no contact so that you can continue to develop your sense of self, spread your wings and fly.
Malta is one of a few viewers who has quickly become a part of my inner circle and he serves as the best chat moderator a girl can ask for! Thank you Malta! <3
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